Chapped Lips

Walking towards Christine’s house, I instinctively reach into my pocket and pull out my ChapStick: Original strawberry flavor. The fact that I use ChapStick is girly enough so I stay away from extravagant flavors like winter-morning mint and honey blaze. I lightly coat my upper and lower lips with the soothing skin protectant. Damn winter months, they make my lips crack up like the Mohave Desert. I rub my lips together and then give them a quick flick of the tongue.
Maybe you’re wondering why I would instinctively put on ChapStick while going to her house. I know I would be wondering the same. The thing is, every time I go to her house, she greets me with a kiss. Sure, we are not dating but that does not stop us. We have a mutual agreement to “friend rights.”
I remember our first “friend” kiss as clear as the first time I saw a shooting star. It’s an unforgettable moment that you witness for only one second, you point in awe and then it’s gone. In a short instant the moment of perfection is gone. It was my first kiss of any kind.
It happened on our way back from an AFJROTC (Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps) field trip. Out of all places, we had gone to the bowling alley. I didn’t know then and I still don’t know now what the bowling alley had to do with what we were supposed to be learning in that class. I will not complain though, without the field trip, I would not have kissed her.
We played a game of bowling with some friends—Cesar, Robert, Casey. Then we went to the arcade section and raced each other on the two-player racing game. I was not very good at it and she beat me both times. I never really was that much into video games. After that we shot some pool, well at least we attempted to. I don’t remember exactly during what round of the game she came over and hugged me but it was spontaneous, I do remember that. Also, I remember thinking, “Can this be so?”
The rest of the night we had stayed together pretty close. She was in my hands and I in hers. On the way back to school on the bus, I remember having an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Her fingers were intertwined with mine in a perfect communion and her head rested softly on my shoulder. Now that I look back at things, I realize everything we talked about during that bus ride was irrelevant to anything we had talked about before. Out thoughts were a jumble of emotions, delirium of sorts.
You know when you are a little kid and you want to do something really bad but you’re scared your mother will get onto you? You get that sick feeling in your stomach. Except it’s a nervous feeling that makes you want to rip it out, well I was feeling it. I could feel my heart pumping loudly inside of my chest, begging to burst out of its confines. I wanted to just grab Christine’s head and turn it towards mine. I wanted to lock eyes for a second, see into her very soul and then kiss her. Yet I could not bring myself to do it.
Eventually I did get her to turn around and kissed her. Though it all went very different than I had expected it to, overall it was good. I turned her around then realized I would not be able to lock into her eyes. It was pitch dark on the bus and I could barely see two millimeters in front of me. I went in for the kill and missed by a fraction of a foot. I felt embarrassed at first, but she helped in the confusion and got everything under control.
And boy did she take control of the situation. I felt like a little kid being guided by the hand by his mother into the playground for the first time. She dominated the entire experience but then again, I guess it made it that much more perfect. The only thing I managed to say after the kiss was, “mmm strawberry.” The fruity taste of her lips bathed my senses in a way nothing else had ever done before. It was that same feeling I was going for every time I kissed her after that day.
Strawberry ChapStick on my lips. Ready to take on the world.
I walked up to her door and knocked. I could feel my lips craving for hers as she opened the door and I got a glimpse of her. Her hazel brown eyes pierced me like daggers; her luscious soft lips teased me. I moved in to kiss her but was fended off by a turn of the cheek. I did not understand. Just the other day everything had been great between us.
“I’ve recently discovered I like girls more than I do boys. I hope you can understand.”
I thought, what the fuck are you insane? Then I just nodded my head and walked away. My three-month enchantment was now over.
The wind blew hard as I walked towards my house. Content without a doubt of remorse, I applied a thin coat of classic spearmint ChapStick.

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